Calamity Jane. Never was a nickname more richly deserved. She could have chosen The Tasmanian Devil of course, apparently she closely resembles him when she's in a temper, but Calamity Jane suits her even when she's not in a strop.
Calamity Jane is the girl who fell off a dustbin at the age of 12 (trying to climb on a mate's shed roof). She struck her leg on edge of the dustbin with such on the fall downwards that she gave herself a bruise that wrapped around the entire top half of her leg and dislodged a chunk of fat that left a permanent bratwurst-sized lump on her outer thigh. It is the only part of her that she has considered having liposucked away.
Calamity Jane is the girl who skewered her palm, surprisingly enough with a skewer, while trying to pierce a conker. Calamity Jane is the girl who broke her foot on her husband's briefcase whilst racing down the stairs to answer the phone. Calamity Jane blew up her hob and fused an entire electrical circuit whilst cooking a Christmas ham.
Are we seeing a pattern here?
Calamity Jane is also the girl who yesterday broke her treasured, not to mention very expensive, laptop (Philips X52 12.1" widescreen which weighs a mere 1.8kg don'tcha know) with a dessertspoon. Indeed, as she was attempting to tidy up her not inconsiderable mess from the living room, to include discarded socks, books, mugs and ice cream bowls, a spoon from said ice cream bowl flew with great force and ricocheted into her beloved laptop thus smashing the LCD screen and leaving a jagged raspberry-ripple flavoured split. Captain S believes he can replace it but a brief survey of t'internet reveals that a new screen will cost in the region of 150 nicker.
She should be labeled with a health warning.
Tuesday, 8 April 2008
Assault with a deadly spoon
at 4:10 pm
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6 Comments:
Ooh! Ouch. Stupid expensive technology...
I bought a brand-new laptop last weekend (complete with flying spoon insurance) and we are taking it back tomorrow. It has crashed 4 x in 4 days and the sound card doesn't do what they said it would, so I am scrubbing the slate (and the credit card bill) and starting over. It's a Toshiba widescreen and it's beautiful, but hey-ho. I have had an Acer recommended and I think I'll go for that on the second go-round - not the least because I think I can get it in pink... (Hey, if I'm paying then The Dude can just cope.)
OK, I won't argue with you. You're apty named. And I thought I'd out-klutzed the universe when I dislocated a toe while helping my son memorize spelling words.
I am sorry about your screen's collision with the dessert spoon. I hope it won't affect your blogging pace.
Holy Jimminy, but you are impressive. That's some trick, dear.
There must be some sort of lesson in here about not tidying up, right?
Blimey - that's gotta take some doing. I'd always considered dessert spoons to be reasonably innocuous...
Puss
What is it with our laptops lately?
Check notebook.com
You might find some help there?
I'm so sorry you have to deal with this on top of everything else.
You all know I love a corny pun for my post titles, well I couldn't think of one for this post at the time but one has just occurred to me: "House of Flying Spoons" Baddum tish!! Should I change it?
Amy - you got flying spoon insurance? Dang! Wish I'd thought of that. I've heard good things about Acer laptops. (Oh and thanks for inspiring me ... see above)
San - Were you turning the pages with your feet??
Jocelyn - I have more silly tales to tell about calamitousness believe you me. And relax, I don't tidy up that often, I like to think my house is clean enough to be healthy and untidy enough to be happy.
Puss - Forkin' 'ell, I'm terrible with cutlery.
Mousie - I was just reading about your computer woes, good grief. We've got a Dell PC (I'm using it now), I hope nothing goes wrong. with ours.
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