Yoo hoo, long time no see. I've been putting off writing until I had a fairy tale ending for you but all I've had this year is horror stories.
Started off this year with my Dad hospitalised for 2 weeks with pneumonia while I struggled to take care of my poor dotty Mum. Then I had precancerous cells found in my womb and I had a hysterectomy. It looked promising later when my lovely Capt Scarlet donated me a kidney, technically it has a happy ending but it was such a struggle to recover from that some of the gloss kind of wore off.
I went back to work in October and initially I surprised myself by being ecstatic at being back but that soon fizzled out when I discovered that someone had been moved into the office I was intending to occupy and she's making a play for my job too.
In late November my Mum was hospitalised with a urinary tract infection and malnutrition compunded by Parkinson's Disease with Lewy Body Dementia (yes I actually found out that her dementia has a name).
Last week my Dad was diagnosed with prostate cancer which has spread to his bones. Yesterday he called me to say he was feeling really poorly with a tight chest and I instantly thought with his history and based on the amount of stress he's been through lately that he was in line for a heart attack again - after I called NHS Direct he ended up being taken to A&E by ambulance but was later discharged with some super-strong antibiotics for a chest infection.
At about 10:20 last night an hour after the Capt & I got home from dropping Dad back at his home, and here's the real kick in my figurative goolies, I got a call from the hospital to tell me that Mum had died a few minutes earlier.
I'd visited Mum earlier in the evening while Dad was still being assessed and she was very poorly indeed. There was nothing I could do for her but stroke her head and talk to her as she's been non-responsive for days and could no longer eat or drink. I whispered in her ear that I love her and always will, I told her that I would take care of Dad and if she couldn't bear the struggle anymore then it was OK to let go now. Then I left her and 2 hours later she was gone.
I haven't been a very giving Blogger over the last year, I'm sorry that I've missed out on most of your lives for a while and I want to say that I truly appreciate the comments and support that have been made while I've been too self-absorbed to reply.
Monday, 8 December 2008
Annus horribilis
at 1:09 pm
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10 Comments:
Oh dear honeybunch, sending you hugs right now. What a dreadful start to Christmas..just do what you can with the will you have, dont be pressurised into feeling jolly, it just wont happen. I lost my mum just before Christmas and just stopped at home with Jon. I didn't "pretend" to be anybody else other than a daughter who missed her mum so much.
Hugs to you right now.
Lots of love,
Dxxxxx
I'm so sorry for the horrible year you've had, and I truly hope that next year is the exact opposite. My thoughts are with you and your family.
So glad to find you again - MrsNesbitt is so right - be who you are and be kind to yourself. With Sonnjea I hope next year holds good times for you all. But now, take time for yourself. Hugs. x
Too self absorbed??????????
*Sigh*
What are we going to do with you?
Start by giving you all the support friends on the other side of the world can. You've had more on your plate every week for the last 12 months than most people get in a decade.
Hugs, Ok?
(Zoe mutters "self absorbed" one more time as she shakes her head, thinking words like "courageous" and "indomitable" would be more appropriate)
My God. That is a one hell of a year. I am so sorry you've had so much to deal with.
Puss
"too self absorbed to reply" shut up! You hear?! Don't be silly!!! I mean it! We understand when real life takes over! Self-absorbed indeed!
Anyway...
so sorry to hear your news esp. re your mum. You know, I said the same thing to someone clse to me who was struggling after an op; let go if you have to, we'll be ok, you go. Just a few hours later.... weird huh?
You really have had a year of it. I hope you get lots of good stuff happening to try to make up for everything.... goodness knows you deserve it.
My heart goes out to you re your dad too. I discovered just last Saturday that mine has had asbestosis confirmed, and this may well be his last Christmas. It is very sobering, on top of upsetting. I've been crying on and off ever since. Can't stop looking back at my childhood walks with him.
Oh well. Hang on in there, CJ. The sun has to break through the clouds soon, surely?
Are you feeling better yourself??I believe that we are given what makes us stronger and only what we can cope with ??When I was diagnosed with cancer all those immediate friends and family died. I would have also but I was trying so hard to survive...My year was horrebndous also. I'd like to look forward to a better one but you know it could be worse..
I am so very sorry for your loss and all of it. This is tragic.
Please don't tell yourself you've been self-absorbed or any of that crap...you've been handling an incredible amount of serious life issues. I don't know how you manage to make sense at this point. {{HUG}}
I wish I had been here before now. Please know that I'm keeping you in my thoughts. Look after yourself as much as you can.
Oh, sweetie!!!!! What a dreadful time. :-(
Lots of love. xxx
Oh Jane, I am so sorry. You really have been having such a terrible time.
Don't you dare feel guilty about not blogging for a while or not visiting other blogs - sometimes we just need time for ourselves. (I've felt that way a lot over the past year or so, and I have had much less to cope with than you have.)
You have a lot to come to terms with right now. Take your time.
Massive hugs.
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