The pride goes before a fall

Earlier this week I actually started to feel more human than I have done of late. My hormones were levelling out at last not to mention not actually being on the rag for a change meant my usual joie de vivre was restored. I'll be the first to admit that I've let myself go over the last few years, failing health, those cursed hormones, stress and anxiety have conspired to erode my self-esteem and often as long as I'm clean, pressed and sober I count my blessings and head off for work.

But not this week, I felt so good about myself for a change I showered, conditioned, exfoliated, moisturised, blow dried, perfumed and dressed for work feeling pretty chipper. I even wore a little make-up - usually I just apply some bronzer to take away the deathly pallor and curl my naturally luscious eyelashes but this time I wore a little more than normal.

Dressed in a slinky tee shirt, trousers and boots that between them add 2 inches in height and remove 10 lbs in weight I was eager to meet the world face-on. The finishing touch was a cute little fake fur gilet that I bought recently that I was wearing for the first time and I love it (since I do possess the Bet Lynch gene, I enjoy a bit of fake fur and animal print when used in tasteful moderation of course - remind me to show you the chairs in my study). I felt like The Cat. Yeooowwww!

So, I arrived at work and fairly strutted around all the offices greeting everyone and finally I slunk sexily into my friend's office. She whistled and made me twirl like Anthea. I dutifully obliged. She said what's that on the back? Fearing that it might be a spider I froze while she came over to investigate. It wasn't a spider, it was the bloody security tag that the shop assistant didn't remove when I purchased the gilet! I'd gone all around the offices completely oblivious to that tag looking like a shoplifter, and my lovely gilet spent the rest of the day hidden from view. Pffft.