Crouching fleabag, hidden moggy

A few nights ago during the enormous full moon, him indoors and I were lying in bed on the cusp of falling asleep when we were roused by strange noises coming from the garden.

MeowOoOoOooooo!! MeowOoOoOooooo!! MeowOoOoOooooo!!

This went on at regular intervals for several minutes until fearing that we had a werecat lurking in the shrubbery we decided to get up to investigate. I plodded downstairs and he just stuck his head out of the bedroom window.

When I got to the kitchen one of our cats was on full alert under the dining table so I crept over to the back door just as the motion sensing security light went on outside. I looked through the back door and saw a vague ginger shape which I took to be the local unneutered bully. He's a fearless, impertinent little sod with only a short stub of a tail due to some kittenhood accident, and the most enormous pair of cojones you are ever likely to see on a cat. I don't know what his owners call him but we call him Ginger Bollocks - not very imaginative but there you go.

Anyway, I decided to chase him off because he has been known to come in through the catflap and help himself to our cats' food. This is a long running problem with the neighbourhood cats, our house backs on to a huge factory yard and acres of woodland so we have feral cats up the yinyang plus of course the domestic cats from various neighbours all trying it on periodically to eat our food. It's got so bad that we have the back door under CCTV surveillance both indoors and out so we can see who is coming and going while we're watching TV at night. So far we've managed to catch 2 feral cats plus one stray who we managed to reunite with his family. We also recently installed a harmless washer jet system to scare them off. It's hilarious to watch the little blighters try the catflap only to get a facefull of water. More on that another time perhaps.

Now it's impossible to open our back door quietly as it has several locks on it and it sticks when it gets damp so I was expecting him to be long gone by the time I got out, but as soon as I opened the door it was apparently the catalyst for a humungous cat fight. The fight was between Ginger Bollocks and a cat that I'd never s ...

I'm sorry Miss but the Blogger ate the rest of my essay.

I'm not sure what happened here by we appear to have reverted to an older saved version somehow. I shall endeavour to rewrite the rest of the story but I doubt it will be as riveting and funny as the original. It really was a cracker, sorry you missed it first itme round.