Period. Full stop

Well folks, I'm glad to say that I came home yesterday, a mere 2 days post op. And what a trial those 2 days were The operation itself went very well and only took an hour or so but I was in the recovery room for almost 4 hours after struggling to come round from the anaesthetic.

I came back up to my hospital room at around 2pm and was soon feeling well enough to have a cup of tea and some water although I still had some nausea. I had expected to be in quite a bit of pain and indeed I was but it wasn't where I expected it to be, it was much deeper, I thought it was coming from my bowel. Damn that houmous, I thought. What on Earth possessed me to eat such a thing prior to surgery?

Fearing that I need to do a number 2 I asked to be helped to get out of bed. I struggled over to the loo, bear in mind that I was hooked up to a morphine pump and an insulin/glucose drip through one hand and I had a foley catheter plumbed into my bladder. Unfortunately nothing was forthcoming so I struggled back into my room got changed out of the surgical gown and into a clean nightie and sat next to the bed for a while.

My supper arrived and as I thought the nausea may have been down to not eating since the night before I thought I'd try and eat a sandwich. I mananged about 3 quarters of it before I started to feel very sick and just Capt Scarlet arrived I started throwing up violently. The odd thing was that it was just green water, bilious water that sloshed out of the bowl and all over me and my nice clean nightie. The Capt said it was just like that scene from The Exorcist and expected my head to start rotating.

Back to a hospital gown for the night. All through the night I was in severe pain and felt terrible again, I was given 3 different kinds of anti-sickness medicine and told off for not using the morphine pump often enough.

The next morning I managed some breakfast and was able to have a wash and changed into my only other clean nightwear which was a pair of M&S pyjamas ... while still sporting the catheter which created quite an interesting silhouette.
It was discovered that the canulas in my hand supplying morphine and other goodies were not actually going into the vein, they were just delivering the fluid to beneath my skin so they were removed leaving me with a lovely black and blue hand which is twice the size of normal.

After lunch - a shoe leather/cottage pie which I was unable to eat on grounds of it being inedible and feeling nauseous again, I was whisked off for dialysis.

I arrived at the unit feeling really sick but put it down to the wheelchair ride over - I was supposed to have been brought over in my comfy bed but the only bed route through the hospital to the unit lay through a ward which had just been closed to a c. dificle outbreak. My alternatives were to be taken by ambulance to the unit or go by wheelchair which would involved being wheeled outside on a bitterly cold sleety, snowy day. Not wishing to be a burden on the NHS I opted for the wheelchair.

At the dialysis unit I settled into my chair for a snooze but woke up feeling very queer indeed. I reached for one of the sick bowls that I had to hand just in time as I exploded with green watery nastiness all over again. This time it was so violent that it bounced off the bottom of the bowl and ricocheted all over my face, head, chest, arms, everything was covered. I was so upset and embarassed that I just burst into tears while the clinic manager, God bless her, cleaned me up and got me into yet another hospital gown.

Something was clearly wrong with me so I insisted on seeing a doctor when I returned to the ward. She informed me that most likely my bowel had suffered some paralysis during the operation. Bowels are sulky things apparently and if you touch them as you may well have to do during a hysterectomy, they tend to sulk and stop working for a while.

Well that nasty little tale brings us up to my last day in hospital wherein I was determined to come home. My sulky bowel has started to move things along although it isn't doing it quietly or gently. I'm up and about, had a shower this morning, washed & blow dried my hair, still having a little difficulty getting out of bed unaided but other than that I've made a miraculous recovery.

I haven't noticed any ill effects from being surgically placed in the menopause yet, but I can tell you it feels damn good not to have to go through a monthly period ever again. I have had so much trouble over the years, pain and embarrassment as pads fail to hold everything and I'm in a public place with a huge bloodstain on my clothes or office chair. Never again. Fantastic!!